We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £8 GBP  or more

     

1.
Exposition 01:58
Mankind has been ruining the planet for a long time They couldn’t kick the habit Of burning fossil fuels Greta called us fools The planet couldn’t hack it Now oh my god, we’ve had it! First came the earthquakes, volcanoes and floods They wiped out the economy and closed all the pubs The planet is collapsing So we thought we should get packing And isn’t this a handy bit of EXPOSITION! We need space ships! But we don’t have the resources So thank god For the Elon Musks and Jeff Bezosses Those lovely billionaires Who really really care They built a load of rockets (And made a tidy profit) Facebook, SpaceX and Amazon were at it But we got Alan Sugar’s Amstrad SpaceMatic It’s fully automatic And also sends faxes This really is a cracking bit of EXPOSITION! But just before we leave there’s a few jobs left And to make sure the move is a big success The government selected the best of the best Sounds like a perfect job for Jess! What will be my legacy? What’s the really cool job that I’ll be doing? Probably something really brave I reckon To make me a superstar. A legend. Legacy They’ll make a statue of me with a great big bosom Now any moment we shall see What will be my legacy…
2.
Is this is my legacy Copying a few files off a USB stick It’s not your typical Hero’s journey It’s hardly Dwayne The Rock Johnson worthy Legacy Well, it could be worse I guess. At least it’s… not too complicated And quite stress free What a boring legacy
3.
We’ve got to pay tribute to Disney But we can’t put one foot wrong Cos Disney’s lawyers, well they’ll destroy us If we use a single real Disney song The planets crust might be breaking, Mickey Mouse will still be litigating So let’s hope they don’t see this bit.. “Okay everybody, what’s your favourite Disney song? There are so many to choose from!” I like the one about the beast who wants to take a beautiful girl on a date - It’s called beauty and the… No! No, I didn’t say it! It’s called Hot Girl And The Man Punching Above His Weight “And it’s got that beautiful song…” The crockery can talk, you can chitchat with this plate, Then cover him in flan, Hot Girl And The Man Punching Above His Weight One film down - but we must have the one about the guy who was king of the lions. It’s called um…. The Best Lion - anyway It’s got this bit where Simba, I mean Simon Is sat under the stars with his girlfriend Pat They’re looking at each other and it’s so romantic And the music goes like this… Are these lion about to shag, it looks that way to me I didn’t sign up to watch Lion pornography Let’s see what’s on ITV! Or the one about the chilly girl And she freezes things it’s called… Brrrrr It’s got that great song about letting it go and it goes a little bit like this… Let go of it, Let go of it, God it’s bloody cold out here, Let go of it Let go of it Going out was a thick idea Oh nice coat! I wish I’d bought mine. But it looked alright this morning So I thought oh fuck it, it’s probably fine. But my very favourite Disney film Is the one about the mermaid She’s half fish half woman and it’s called The Little merma..no! It’s called the tiny fish girl And the greatest Disney song for me is the one about her wishing she could leave the sea (Bubbles) These films mean so much to us So Minnie Mickey Donald Goofy please don’t sue us And come and see the show. That would be the best! Be our Guest! Shit!
4.
Clever Jess 00:50
Clever Jess! Clever, clever jess Solving all the problems Absolutely nailing it Look at me! Clever clever Jess Careers going great Doing voices is a real job Gonna be famous - be a really big star Cos I’m the best. And my legs are not too short Saving the world - through the power of my brain Like a sexy version of Bruce Willis in Armageddon Yes I might have lied about my age But nothing bad has happened - so lying is fine! Time to look really hot and save the world Is it a bird? No! Is it a plane? No! Is it a beautiful lady? Yes it is and her names Jess Clever, clever Jess. Yes!
5.
KATE BUSH You should’ve done more recycling And washed out those Marmite jars You should have all taken up cycling Or started driving hybrid cars LILY ALLEN You should have paid attention to our famous faces When we were saying just how fucked the human race is OLIVIA RODRIGO But it didn’t stop you Look where it’s got you LILY + OLIVIA I bet you feel stupid, but hey KATHERINE JENKINS We told you so We told you so I guess we were right all along We told you so We told you so How could anything Bono or Cher says be wrong? DOLLY You idiots ruined the planet Now off into space we must go THE QUEEN So, great job. Thanks a lot. We told you so V2 ALANIS You should have all gone vegan No more animals, have beans instead But you had to go and eat them GRETA Now every cow is dead SHAKIRA We tried to save you losers We showed such compassion We bought Toyota Prius’s and sang Imagine BABS It sounded gorgeous, but you ignored us Now look, you've made Chris Martin Cry! JESSIE J, BABS, GRETA, SHAKIRA, ALANIS, KATE BUSH, LILY, OLIVIA,DOLLY QUEEN We told you so, we told you so Do you hear the Celebrities sing We told you so, we told you so But oh no I guess you know better than Sting JULIE ANDREWS It seems you weren't paying attention Well now you must reap what you sew When the earth explodes, just note - We told you so! BRITNEY Jess is super stressed now She’s really shitting bricks There’s only half an hour left now Why did you give her this job you pricks ADELE Olivia Colman made some funny choices MARGE SIMPSON You can’t save the earth with funny voices ARIANA Ariana riffs MARGE SIMPSON That’s right Ariana, good point. ALL We told you so, we told you so PALOMA This job’s too important for Jess ALL We told you so, we told you so AGUILARA She can’t save the world, she can barely get dressed IDINA She’s failed to meet expectations And christ they were already low GAGA Well great job thank’s a lot What do you think Gal Gadot? GAL She ballsed it up that’s what We told you so!
6.
In The Bin 03:28
Look at these awful men We idolised them? The dirtiest pigs in the pen? Chris Brown? R Kelly? Rolf Harris? I’d better go sort this shit out forever, amen (AMEN) I’ll defeat this beast. Deplete the creeps And start fresh with a clean sheet No new free toys for the yew tree boys Just (CLICK) select all and hit delete There’s too much so we should downsize And I know just where to put these guys In the bin, in the bin Let the cancelling begin All the nonces and the ponces Bag them up and throw them in Mr Savile! Sorry, Jim It seems there’s no room at the inn There’s no spaces on our spaceship But we’ve saved you all a place here in the bin Right! Let’s do some clearing out Let’s give the world something to cheer about Cos when I look here I sincerely doubt We’re gonna miss these pricks so hear me out Katie Hopkins. Do we need her? No! Dorries? Sorry! Nadine’s gotta go She can find solace with Boris and co Help him get all of that coke off his nose I’ll help the people of earth go free But if they do not agree with me Get in the bin, in the bin Let the cancelling begin All those angry little weirdos Bag them up and throw them in There’s no Karenns, twits and Terfs Plus no gammons, twats and berks So sorry Piers! Sorry Eamon! There’s a seat here with your name on in the bin “What gives you the right?” The fact that I can, little man. I can do what I like And I like this game, it’s fun I’ve had a little taste of power and mmmm YUM! So why stop here? I got the ability To send all my enemies straight to the guillotine Anyone who ever made me feel grim Well it’s payback time, gonna put you in the bin. This is so liberating! Mum was right! Do you guys want to have a go? When I say a name, and you want to put them in there, just shout out ‘in the bin’ Are you ready? Of course you are. Nigel Farage! (In The Bin) Prince Andrew (In The Bin) Skeletor (In The Bin) Dill! (In The Bin) Adolf Hitler (In The Bin) Michael Palin (in the Bin) SFX: RECORD SCRATCH JESS: Michael Palin? Were you even listening? That was a test and you failed! You’ve obviously gone mad with power. MUSIC back in. In the bin, in the bin Time for Jess to finally win Those who mocked me, those who crossed me Bag them up and throw them in Like Jamie Mansell in year 8 Who said he’d kiss me if I lost weight Cos he couldn’t face his mates With me so keen on clearing plates So I did! I got thin Alright dysmorphia, you win I shed all that excess skin But when I tried to get with him He said “Sorry skinny, big bums are in And plus I miss the double chin” Well Jamie Mansell, now you’re cancelled So go fuck your fucking self right in the bin In the bin, in the bin Let the cancelling begin All of U2? Fuck it, you too! Bag them up and throw them in Goodbye all those total nobs God I bloody love this job! See you later, masturbators I hope you all enjoy your stay there in the bin
7.
Legacy 04:23
I’ve got to board that Spaceship Gotta get out while I can I tried to save Earth’s culture But it didn’t go to plan Well, never mind, forget it Who needs it anyway? Let’s chuck this rubbish in the bin Then turn and fly away I will climb aboard that shuttle Learn to juggle next to Hucknall Watch the planet turn to rubble as we go All that art? They’ll reproduce it And we can always write more music Plus I hear Mick’s brought his acoustic… Oh no… A world with no TV shows No sign of Ant & Dec No Masterchef, no Strictly Rest in peace, Anton Dubec No Danny Dyer, no Sonia All erased without a trace All those shows that we’ve Sky Plussed Real Housewives! Ru Paul’s Drag Race! Yes, some folks might say they’re tacky But these things make people happy So we can’t let Downton Abbey fade away Cos life is hard enough already Without forgetting Lorraine Kelly And the many little joyful things that get us through the day All the songs we danced to Well our kids should have them too West Life, Take That, Girls Aloud, The Spice Girls, Five and Blue We need these simple pleasures After all that we’ve been through Olivia I know what I must do This is my legacy All the little things that make life less rubbish Cos when it’s raining you need a brolly When you’re in pain you need Phil & Holly Legacy Tiny flashes of joy, well that’s what love is So take it and remember me That shall be my legacy This is my legacy. All the little things that make life less rubbish Ever onward through joy and sadness Never fear cos at least you have this Legacy tiny flashes of joy well that’s what love is Take it and remember me This will be my legacy.

about

This brand new album - Legacy accompanies Jess Robinson's brand new show - debuting at The Edinburgh Festival, August 2022.

Watch multi award-winning impressionist and star of Spitting Image Jess Robinson save the world in under an hour! Join the Edinburgh favourite as you've never seen her before – starring in a brand new musical multimedia one-woman show. As seen/heard on The Last Leg, The Guilty Feminist, The Now Show and Stars In Your Ears. 'Slick impressions, super powered ballads' (Guardian). 'By some way the best, most exciting impressionist we have' (Rory Bremner). 'Mind blowing' (Scottish Sun). 'A star is born' (Metro). 'Side splitting comedy, sensational music' (Edinburgh Festivals Magazine). 'A feel good, celebratory show' (Observer).

credits

released August 4, 2022

Performed by Jess Robinson
Music composed by Felix Hagan

Picture by Karla Gowlett.
Album cover design by Chris Lincé

Additional writing and script editing by Robin Morgan
Live show Directed by Hamish MacDougall
Live show Designed and operated by Tom Clutterbuck
Initial concept by Jess Robinson and Chris Lincé

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Jess Robinson Brighton, UK

Meet the mulit award-winning musical comedian & star of Spitting Image, Jess Robinson. She's showcased her talents across the stage, screen &
airwaves; gigging at The Royal Albert Hall, Palladium & Edinburgh Festival with her incredible band; Jessington World Of Adventures. Their podcast - 'Stars In Your Ears' was nominated for a British Podcast Award, in The Best Entertainment category in 2021.
... more

contact / help

Contact Jess Robinson

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account